Women Connecting Across Difference
By Dcn. Kaitlyn Wallett
I moved to Madison in 2018 to help plant Christ Church Madison, having no connections in the city outside our little church plant community. I’d been on staff at our sending church for the last four years, alongside nearly two dozen incredible brothers and sisters, spiritual moms and dads, serving our congregation of 1000+, where I had worshiped since my first year of college. The shift to a brand new city, and a baby church with a two-person staff team was exciting, but also felt really isolating.
I arrived in town just in time for our first weekly service, so Sundays weren’t a good option for connecting with potential ministry peers. I kept hearing about the camaraderie between churches in Madison, especially the friendship between head pastors of some of the smaller churches like ours. I was curious if there was a group out there for someone like me.
Then I heard about Collaboration Project, and I attended the 2020 Kingdom Justice Summit, finally getting to meet and serve alongside folks from other churches. I wondered if this might be a doorway into ministry leader friendships I’d been looking for. Not long after that, I got coffee with Nicola Porto to learn more about Collaboration Project and see if there was a group I could plug into for women, administrative leaders, or second-chair leaders.
There wasn’t anything like that at the time, but this last fall, Wendy Porterfield organized a retreat for women in church leadership, which has since led to the formation of a standing monthly gathering. I left the retreat feeling oddly guarded - I hadn’t anticipated what it would feel like to gather with women from different traditions and perspectives on women in leadership. I was probably a little naive to think it would feel like being back on my old large church staff team, or that I would find ministry kindred spirits right off the bat. The question of women’s role in ministry and family is emotional and personal for everyone, especially for us women who are leaders in our churches, and it had felt like an elephant in the room at the retreat.
The retreat was a slightly awkward, but exciting beginning, and bore a lot of fruit for clarifying what these gatherings should look like moving forward. I really appreciated Wendy’s intentional request for feedback. At our first monthly gathering in January, she shared the guidelines she’d compiled based on all the retreat feedback. Any apprehension I was feeling melted away as she read:
We are coming from different church traditions and different theological perspectives on the roles of women and men in church, in the family, etc. This is not a space to debate theology, but to support one another as women who are serving as leaders in the Church.
When engaging in conversation about men (male leaders or colleagues, our husbands, etc.), we will seek to honor and extend grace while also giving permission to be honest about things that are/have been painful.
Consider conversations to be confidential. Do not share other people’s personal information unless you gain permission first.
Each woman will have a window of time to share. Please self-monitor your time so everyone has a chance to speak.
Respond respectfully and compassionately to others based on their preferences. Avoid fixing, saving, or correcting anyone’s challenges. This is a judgment-free zone.
We are here to encourage, learn, and grow together, not solicit or promote services.
Let’s pray for one another!
These guidelines are so helpful and comforting, and provide a lot of space in which free and meaningful conversations can happen in the future. I’ve met some amazing ladies through these gatherings, and felt seen, heard and challenged by them to grow. I’m excited to see what God does in our times together, and the relationships we deepen through coffee dates and further one-on-one conversations.
I’m so thankful to Collaboration Project, and especially Wendy, for the effort and prayer that went into creating this safe space for us to connect and encourage one another as women leaders in the Church.
If you are a woman in leadership in your church in the area, you are invited to join us for these monthly gatherings!
We invite you to partner with us in telling stories that highlight how God is working in and through the local church by supporting Collaboration Project today.